Here I am in Florida, and it has been a fun couple of months walking, sitting on the beach, spending quality time with Diane, and reflecting; yes, reflecting on how I got to this place in my life and what it all means. I recently turned 74 and while no one says anything, we all know that is the same age my Dad was when he died. Consequently, it gives me a reason to reflect a bit on where Gordy Taylor is today.
I am a beach walker and yesterday was no exception, but it was a different sort of day. The winds were blowing strongly out of the north, and the waves were smashing against the beach. No one else was out; it was just me and the elements. Days with the absence of people down here are rare, and I savored my singleness as I headed north directly into the wind. Times like this are ripe for self discovery, for addressing who we are, what we’ve accomplished, and what really matters to us as we walk ever so slowly down the sidelines in the 4th quarter of our lives. Two hours and just me, the wind, the waves, and the sun–nothing else. I loved every minute of it. I was free to think about whatever popped into my mind—today it would be grandchildren, by golly, grandchildren and thinking about them would make the time fly by.
There are 6 of them ranging in age from Luke 15 to Dan 1 with James 11, Paul 8, Ava 7, and Kent 3 in between. Each one is special in their own way and they are happy to have Diane and me in their lives, as well they should. We are, I think, generous at birthdays and Christmas but on her own, it is Grandma who never forgets Easter, Halloween, and Valentine’s Day as well. When we visit, most parental rules go out the door—stay up late, watch a particular video or 7, act silly as when Grandpa dresses up like a pirate or a gladiator, take wagon rides to no where in particular, eat Grandpa’s fudge, help Grandma make cookies, play games, create artwork, and read stories. Working with the old guy pulling weeds, planting tulip bulbs, washing a car, or hauling garbage to the curb and getting paid to do so is fun. I assume the kids have yet to read Tom Sawyer, particularly as it relates to fence painting and compensation.
Diane is the “baby” person of our duo. She loves babies and, oh my, when we started being grandparents, she was definitely over the moon. When the birth of a grandchild is imminent, Diane will be there to assist in any way she can. When Luke’s birth was a bit earlier than expected, she became a determined force to get on any flight ASAP from Chicago to south Texas. Before James was born, she drove 1200 miles by herself to be there. I can’t imagine doing this, but Diane was in the delivery room when Paul and James came into this world. After Ava was born in Austin, she impatiently counted the days until she could hold her for the first time. Kent and Dan were born in Chicago, and we had the privilege of holding them hours after they arrived. I love to watch Diane hold, comfort, sing, smile, and fall unconditionally and immediately in love with our grandkids.
Diane and I like movies and can often be seen taking the entire family to whatever is playing at the local cinema that is child approved. These visits always, and the operative word is always, result in the 57th telling of the time Grandpa with a large popcorn in one hand and a 64 ounce Coca Cola in the other, fell lengthwise across an entire row of seats spilling this important food group all over himself and his clothes. Grandpa was livid and ready to display his anger when he looked up at all those faces laughing hilariously and realized that he best join in the laughter.
Sometimes we simply need to sit back and take a moment to think about our lives and how they are impacted by these young people. For the youngest grandkids, they are having fun exploring the world around them, and we get to share in that exploration and maybe even leave a small mark on their lives and who they become. They have not yet thought about global warming, population concentration, race, gender, economics, health insurance, political upheaval, coronavirus, and all the rest. My grandchildren make me smile, make me laugh out loud, make me feel wanted and appreciated by a new generation. Few of us laugh enough and that is one of those gifts that keeps on giving and provides us with the ability to survive in the complex world all of us face today.
They say, or at least some noted scholar should have, “Grandchildren are the gift we receive for having raised our own children.” There is surely some truth in that phrase. It is fun and OK just a little amusing to watch our own children deal with the same challenges we dealt with decades ago. ” I need braces, my hair is not too long, can I buy a phone, why can’t I dress the way I want to, why can’t I keep my snake in the house, all the other kids get to do it, my grades are just fine, who said I was too young to date” and all the rest. We got through it; our children will too.
I feel blessed in that my grandchildren have taught me patience, understanding, appreciation for the little things in life, remembering to live in the moment and so much more They have allowed me to be part of their lives, to see the exuberance in catching a touchdown pass, to see the artwork masterpiece of a 5 year old, to be there in person for a magic show or an in house Broadway production, to get excited to see a first train arrival, to see their first steps, to hear their first words, and to even watch first hand a snake eat a mouse. My heart aches when the student council election does not have the results we hope for, or we didn’t make the A team, or didn’t get the invitation to a birthday party. I am lucky that all of it is part of my 4th quarter, and I know that someday my journey will end and theirs will continue. I might live to see some of them graduate from college or get married but not all of them and that is simply the reality of life.
I know as I write this that not everyone has had children and some of you will never be grandparents and of course, that is fine as well as each of our lives will leave its own unique imprint on our personal stage. We all must find meaning in the lives we lead and for this 4th quarter participant. I am grateful that grandchildren have been an important component of Diane’s and my tapestry of life. As I remove my hands from these keys, I hope I get in another walk down a lonely beach before we head back home as I never know where my unfettered mind will take me.
Gordy and the Fourth Quarter 