Don’t Wait

Christmas is almost here and what better time to reflect on how good it is to still be here enjoying the Fourth Quarter of my life. Like most people, I see what I refer to as “quotes on life” almost every week and they give me cause to pause and reflect for a moment what it means to continue to have the gift of life. I talk to my old “jock” friends about this all the time. When we were young men in our twenties and thirties, it was softball, basketball, and even football. We could run, slide, and jump.  We were forever competitive and thought that would never end.  However, it did, gradually and unrelentingly and now we golf or walk or hike or whatever. I asked these guys, “If you could do it over differently, would you.”  Every one of them answered with a resounding NO!  For all of us, these are precious memories of our youth and we will never let them go. At this time in our lives, priorities change, our bodies change, and even our minds change, but we press on because as Winnie the Pooh says, “Today is my new favorite day” and it is because it is right there, in front of us to do with as we please. Good friend Laurie Black sent me a Hallmark card when I was going through a rough health spot and the message was, “Even small steps will get you where you’re going.” How poignant is that as we continue our march through life in the Fourth Quarter. 

So where does, “Don’t Wait” come from?  It’s a great story and it comes from none other than Diane Taylor who happens to be a very good friend of mine and is, without doubt, the most selfless person I have ever met. I won the marriage lottery as anyone who has spent time with the two of us is well-aware. In January 2022, she offhandedly (who am I kidding, I knew this was well thought out and was to become a reality), suggested that maybe we should take “everyone” to Disney World while we are still mobile and able to do so. I asked for a definition of everyone and by that she meant Jennifer and her crew which totals five, Gordon III and his band adding four more, Ryan’s trio, Diane and me for a total of fourteen. I mentioned that famous word “money,” got “the look,” and that was the end of that and thus the planning began. 

I’m aware that the Allies worked long and hard to devise a plan for the Normandy Invasion on June 6, 1944 but our kitchen table began to take on the look of Churchill’s War Room as the months passed leading up to “the trip” which believe it or not took place from November 20-26 and yes, that is over the Thanksgiving holiday. Every family got their own room at the Wilderness Lodge and we stayed on the Concierge Club Level, had Genie Plus and Lightning pass options for quick access to rides, the Memory Maker for photos, and the Park Hopper so we could go to more than one reserved park each day. Our group ranged in age from almost 4 to almost 77 (ouch) and a good time was had by all.  Sure, we made adjustments as the only day we could get reservations where turkey was served was Monday at the Liberty Tree Tavern so that’s what we did. On Thursday, we were able to get reservations at the Italian restaurant in Epcot. Nothing says Thanksgiving like pizza but no one complained, we said a prayer, and that was that.

There was something for everyone–rides, rides, and more rides. Jennifer, Gordon, and Ryan all inquired about the cost of this grand adventure and we told each of them, “Poof and the money will be gone but the adventures made this week will last a lifetime,” and they will.  The point of this story is what was mentioned at the outset, “Don’t Wait” because none of us knows what tomorrow will bring. We had not gotten together as a family since 2018 and as we live in Texas, Ohio, and Illinois, I do not know when it will happen again so we made the decision not to wait but to grab the bull by the horns and as Nike would say, “Just Do It.”  Everyone could do their own thing and over six days we laughed, we joked, we rekindled old memories and made a whole bunch of  new ones.  

While traversing the four parks, it was abundantly clear that there were literally thousands of people who had simply waited too long and were having extreme difficulty just getting around much less attempting to navigate rides or mass transportation from park to park. For all of us, the day of limited mobility is “out there” down the road; we just don’t know when so if in doubt, “Don’t Wait.”  

“Don’t Wait” has a more searing connotation for Diane and me.  In the past months, we lost two dear friends in the short period of 58 days. We all are occasionally faced with the dilemma, “should I go visit so and so or not” particularly when there are serious health issues involved. With Dave (77), a life-long math teacher and ultimate baseball guru to many young men, his sister-in-law called and said, “He’s not well, we just put him in hospice, he is on morphine, and maybe you could stop by next week.” Diane hung up the phone, and the next day we drove to East Peoria to see our dear friend because Diane “had that feeling.” Why wait?  When we got there, I told Dave to “wake up dammit, we drove 81 miles to see you.” His parched lips made a smile, he opened his eyes and said, “You know I love you guys.” Then he closed his eyes again. The next day he went to meet his Lord. Diane made a great call and we got to say goodbye in person to a man who gave me my first college job as a Seal Hall desk worker in 1965, and who was an athletic mentor to both our sons.

With Pam, Diane and I concurred that something just wasn’t right during our more recent conversations, so we began calling Maine where Pam and husband Fred live. Pam and Fred are 1970 graduates of Western Illinois University and both are former WIU Alumni Council Presidents.  We were driving back to Macomb on I-88 by Dixon when Diane finally got through, and we had a delightful conversation with our dear friend who was having some balance issues but otherwise fine. That was Monday morning; she passed away suddenly on Thursday. Why did we keep calling? I don’t know why, but we did and thank goodness. “Don’t Wait” was somewhere in the back of our minds and without knowing the sad future that lied ahead, we got to say a fond and memorable goodbye to the best of friends. You get the point, regardless of the issue, when you are in the Fourth Quarter, you really don’t have the luxury of procrastinating on matters that involve those most important to us. We are here enjoying the day given to us but we have no idea what tomorrow will bring so, if possible, best to be proactive and not delay “keeping in touch.”  We’re certainly glad we did. 

As the holiday season is upon us, it goes without saying that it can be a time of stress but also a time of opportunity. Famous poet laureate, Maya Angelou said, “Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud” and Christmas is the perfect time to bring a little sunshine into someone’s life who could use the good cheer you could provide so go visit a friend and “make their day.”  

I am not suggesting that the holidays are always a time of fun and good cheer as each of us is dealing with “something” which is the way it will always be as someone once said, “Life is just one damn thing after another until it isn’t” and then it doesn’t matter.  Yet, the mind is an incredible machine and within it we hold endless possibilities if only we will take advantage of them. As I type this, I need to remind myself of what I just typed as I am as guilty as the next person of sometimes seeing clouds where if I looked a little harder, I could find rainbows.  All of us are on this road of life together but why is it that for some it is a long descent into oblivion and for others more of a jaunt down the “yellow brick road?” My guess is it has a great deal to do with attitude. Abraham Lincoln, who carried the weight of a nation on his shoulders, once surmised, “People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”  He was correct. 

Some of us embrace or at least enjoy our golden years while others become bitter and unhappy. Isn’t life too short to waste your time focusing on regrets of what could have been. Instead, spend your time with positive, nutritious people who make us better for having known them. I have two people in my universe who make this point every time I see or talk to them. One wakes up in the morning, every morning, puts his foot on the floor and says, “Good God, it’s morning” and the other wakes up, puts his foot on the floor and says, “Good morning, God.”  The difference between these two men could not be more striking but there it is for everyone to see. I try and remember this little story every morning when my first foot hits the carpet. Surround yourself with people who make you a better person. 

The bottom line is to continue to keep a positive mental attitude, be kind to yourself and to others, and let the Fourth Quarter play out as it will in front of you knowing that you are the master of your own happiness and you determine if your days will be spent lamenting over clouds or spent looking for rainbows. I’ll choose the latter.

Best wishes for a joyous holiday season and a healthy, productive 2023 and remember, “Don’t Wait.”