Transitions

We’ve made it past the 4th of July, and now it’s time to really get into summer.  I was out walking early one morning and had a couple of thoughts I’ve decided to pass along. The first involves that famous train of life we are all engineering, each of us looking back to see who is getting on and who is exiting at each stop on our respective life journeys. Those of us who are getting weathered with the passage of time are experiencing the inevitable exit of too many passengers. I guess I should have seen it coming. I was blessed with a career that took me into both the classroom and the alumni arena resulting in an extraordinary number of friendships over a 60-year period.  That is the good news—notes, emails, texts, phone calls, and personal visits have been my good fortune since I entered my first classroom in Stipes Hall at Western Illinois University in 1970. It has been nothing short of rewarding in every way, but now the Grim Reaper has decided to exact his pound of flesh and a week seldom goes by without the departure of one of the passengers on my train. The 4th Quarter continues to move forward and as it does so, my passengers seem to be getting older as well with stops on their last ride with me becoming more frequent. This is inevitable. I accept it and am grateful to know and have known so many wonderful people over these many decades. 

I am happy to report that new passengers, though not as many as in the past, continue to come on board. Diane and I are very grateful that Luke (20), James (16), and Paul (13) Stevenson have boarded as well as Ava (12) and Kent (7) Taylor and Dan (5 ½) Taylor bringing love, happiness, energy, excitement, and the promise of tomorrow to their fellow passengers. Yes, grandchildren give us hope that someday they will be better stewards of the world and its resources than we have been. Chug, chug, chug—not as fast as before and the hills a bit tougher to climb but for each of us, our train on the road of life moves ahead.

Lately, I have had occasion to ponder my life through adulthood and how it has changed since the end of the 1^st Quarter in 1971 when I began to take notice of such things. Much of my life has involved participating in various sports/athletics, so you will notice a heavy sprinkling of such references. After graduation from Western and the most important event, getting married to Diane Paulsen on August 31, 1968, we were off to the University of Florida for graduate school, returning to Macomb in 1970. This is pretty much where my final three quarters of life have played out to the present day.  In our twenties is when things take off and many of us start families. The Taylors were no different. Teaching was fun and outside the classroom there was plenty of time for softball, basketball, touch football, tennis, and jogging for me. Maybe that’s why it took me so long to finish the dissertation for my PhD—too damn much fun with sports, but I enjoyed every minute of it. 

By my thirties there was a job change from teaching to alumni programs. The 2nd Quarter (age 26-50) was a time for career building, adding a third Taylor child, and getting active in the community. I had to finally give up touch football in my 30s as I couldn’t find anyone who wanted to play anymore.  Basketball ended in my 40s when our three children, Jennifer, Gordon, and Ryan, came to one of my games.  The rascals taped “dear old dad” shooting 5 for 28.  We all laughed; it was clearly time to put away the blue Converse All-Star sneakers.  I continued to sort of play softball and tennis and jogging was still in the mix. Through all this, Diane was the anchor of the family while earning her B.A, Master of Arts, and beginning a stellar career as an English teacher at Spoon River College. While not affluent, we were living our dream.  For me, I remained very active physiologically, had the best job at Western, assumed it would never end. Close your eyes and think back for a moment. During our thirties and forties, we were at the top of our game. I could look in the mirror and not too many wrinkles, love handles had yet to appear, and had a full head of blond hair. Life was damn good.

Then the 3rd Quarter (51-75) arrived and gradually the wheels figuratively began to come off.  Diane and I continued to have professional lives, the kids had stellar high school athletic careers, graduated from college, settled down, married, and led lives of their own. At around age 60, Diane and I both retired, traveled, became grandparents, enjoyed excellent health, and were on top of the world. What could go wrong?  I’m still a jock, right?  That’s what I told myself.  Well, first there were softball and tennis. I couldn’t find anyone to play tennis, but there’s always softball, right?  Over the decades, I got to play against son Gordon and his buddies, and later son Ryan and I became teammates. He may have wanted to keep an eye on me. I went from playing center field and batting in the enviable  #3 slot to ultimately playing right field and batting 9th. One night we had the late game at 9:30. It was swelteringly hot and foggy; mosquitos were everywhere. After the game, Ryan and I were sitting on the back of the car removing our spikes when he looked over and said, “You having any fun?” I replied “No” and at age 56 softball was history. 

Still no real complaints, just minor lifestyle adjustments that affect all of us. Then in March 2010 I got that infamous sore throat and at age 64 everything changed forever. Base of tongue cancer is a nasty experience and the effects of radiation and chemotherapy, while saving my life, have left me with a bunch of parallel intrusions like a feeding tube, aspiration pneumonia, and a lack of energy. Of course, how does one delineate between fatigue caused by health issues as opposed simply to the process of aging. At age 64, jogging was the last athletic pleasure to exit my life, replaced by walking. In this 3rd Quarter I was able to keep busy with my local TV taped program interviewing noted individuals in the Macomb community and hospital.  I still enjoy working in the yard and don’t have a riding lawn mower. I’m sure many of you have begun to have your own health issues in your 3rd Quarter so none of this makes me unique. 

At age 75 or so, the 4th Quarter arrives. I still have hair although it is no longer blond but pretty much white. Weight is not really an issue since I control my intake of Jevity 1.2 at ten cartons a day through my forever feeding tube. While it seems to work keeping aspiration pneumonia issues away, I don’t recommend it as a weight loss program. The 4th Quarter has now arrived in earnest and there is no denying I am no longer the athletic guy I was.  Yet, I still walk three miles probably five times a week but the darn “energy thing” is a challenge. Maybe it is for you as well.  I’m doing my best to cope with it and try and remember the words of Clint Eastwood who when asked about aging responded that he “tries to keep the old man out.” 

For Diane and me, there is an important variable that helps us keep young at heart.  Via Zoom, FaceTime, and Interstate highways, we get to keep our kids, their spouses, and grandkids in our lives—the best “Geritol” there is and extremely grateful for our times together. 

It is probably worth posing the question of what we say to ourselves when we get up in the morning. When that first foot hits the floor do we say, “Good morning God or good God, it’s morning.”  I’ll take option number one every time.  To all of us in or approaching life in the 4th Quarter, there is much for which to be grateful, starting with our train is still traveling down the tracks, destination unknown, but even though the engine has slowed a bit, it is still chugging along.  And so it goes….

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