The Best of Humanity

I’m in a particularly good mood this morning because I get to tell you about some dear friends who can teach us all about what it means to be “our brother’s keeper.”  This 4th Quarter thing has plenty of ups and downs.  Each of us has our own experiences to enrich us, teach us, and help us grow as human beings and sometimes frustrate us and make us sad. I’ve often said I had the best job at Western and that’s true primarily because of the people I’ve met getting on and off my “train of life.”  My career was primarily to meet people and try to encourage them to be proud to be a graduate of Western Illinois University. As such, I traveled the country like a peddler with my trusty archaic slide show in hand. We did around 70 of these events per year and my travels took me from coast to coast, north to south, and east to west.  

On occasion I was privy to hearing stories about their lives and how they became the people they became. They would talk; I would listen.  Sometimes it was vice versa, but I can assure you, it was never boring. Each of us has a “story” to tell, and it has been my pleasure and privilege to listen to many of them over the decades. My position gave me access to the “best of times” and sometimes the “worst of times” in the lives of alumni I came to know, respect, admire, and in some cases be privy to pain, anguish, and suffering.  This is a story that starts out with great promise, has a very sad bump on the road of life, and an ending that gives us all hope for the future. 

I first met Kathy Cavins when she was a student at Western, and she went on to carve out a stellar career after graduation right here at her alma mater. Her personality and skill set caught the eye of University President Don Spencer who knew just who to call when necessity required creativity, bringing diverse campus groups together for a shared effort, and the delivery of a polished and high-quality product. President Spencer thought Kathy could deliver and she did, time after time. They made a great team. Then she left Western. Just like that she was gone.  She still stayed close by as a VP and Dean of Students at Illinois Wesleyan University for six years.  Then the big move to Texas Christian University where she met Ashley Tull. She fell in love with both Ashley and TCU. 

At TCU the Tulls met Jamie Dulle who was earning a Ph.D. and working for the Dean of Students.  Where was Mr. Donald Dulle, prominent lawyer and professor at Wright State University in Ohio? Tragically, he had died, and Jamie was left to raise two sons, Boston (13) and Braylen (11). Before he died, Jamie had promised Don that she would finish her doctorate, and she did. It was a festive accomplishment, and it was time for the Dulles to move on to the next stage of their lives. Here’s where life got dark, very dark.  Braylen spent the night at his friend Zach’s house.  After almost eight years without their dad, they wanted their mom to start dating.  They were excited for her that this was her third date and began to see the benefits of having another grown-up in their lives. Tragically, that night three months after getting her Ph.D., Jamie was killed when her car was hit by a drunk driver.

Braylen is by nature a glass half-full kid and very sensitive to the needs of others.  Suddenly and out of nowhere Boston and Braylen were alone in the deepest sense of the world. Two boys, both parents taken from them, alone in the world.  Early that morning when Kathy got the call about Jamie, she called Ashley to go to the hospital because she was in Los Angeles for a meeting.  He was told to go get Braylen at Zach’s house.  When Braylen saw Ashley, he thought he was there to take him to practice (Kathy and Ashley helped with the kids when Jamie was busy with school or travel).  Ashely told him that his mom had been in a car accident and his first concern was his brother.  Braylen’s world was completely shaken, but in that little body was a mountain of hope.  Every “what if” situation was workable to Braylen.  If she couldn’t walk, he and Boston could help her.  If she had to be in the hospital for a long time, he could visit her after school.  He knew she would be able to get a new car, so that was going to be OK.  Braylen had it all figured out until the doctors told him two days later that their mom was not going to wake up.  You could see the terror, the wheels turning in his head.  He looked at Ashley, then at Kathy, his grandparents, the chaplain and said, “I’m 11 and I have NO PARENTS!!”  And just then, Braylen knew that his life changed forever.  Could the world get any darker, any more helpless for the Dulle boys?

Then positive things began to happen. The accident was on March 9^th, so it was decided to keep the boys in school to finish the year. Ashley and Kathy offered to help, and soon the boys were living with the Tulls. Ashley and Kathy became temporary then permanent guardians. They are now permanent legal guardians and did not adopt the boys as it was important for the boys to retain the Dulle name.  As Kathy told me, the boys are resilient beyond measure and active in school activities. Boston is in college; Brayden is in high school.  The Tull household has been busy, and the boys have brought additional energy and excitement to the Tull household, joining Tull’s daughter and son insuring there will never be a dull moment. 

Kathy puts it best.  “It just came naturally to do what they did after losing Jamie. The real credit goes to Boston and Brayden who have stepped up to the plate and stayed strong throughout living lives that would make their parents proud. The boys could have become morose and negative but instead they took the high road and showed bravery and thankfulness every step of the way.” As the Tulls say, “the boys are the real heroes of this story.” There must be an important lesson here about doing the right thing, strength, perseverance, and graciousness as they are all excellent descriptors of a story about adults and children who rose above the ashes to create their own destinies. 

Boston and Braylen have been a part of Ashley and Kathy’s family (and the Tulls theirs) since March of 2019.  According to Kathy, Jamie would be so proud of her boys.  They’re resilient beyond measure.  They’re good kids that are more optimistic than their circumstances would prescribe.  Don and Jamie Dulle taught their children how to live by example. Their favorite exchange in explaining their unending love was, “forever and a day longer.” For the Dull boys their “forever” ended on that tragic March afternoon, but they are living “a day longer” with dignity and respect for perpetuity. God bless the Tull and Dulle families. You inspire all of us to be all that we can be.