Being Gracious

I was going through some old letters last week and came across one that caught my eye. It dated back to December 16, 1963, over 60 years ago. Why would I have kept a letter from so long ago? Then, I read it; it was a beauty: 

Dear Gordon,

Our whole family admires you for the way you have worked so hard to help your folks during these difficult days.

Use this any way you’d like for a merrier Christmas, Gordy. We pray ’64 will be a good, good year for your mother and the whole Taylor gang.

Your friends,

The Campbells

Enclosed was a check for $100. I was overwhelmed. Don and Sally Campbell were a middle-aged couple with two grown sons who lived down the street from us. Their gesture was a wonderful reaffirmation to a young man/boy to “do the right thing” decades before that phrase become an everyday part of our daily lexicon. I can only imagine how large that $100 gift would be if converted to 2025 dollars–substantial I imagine. I relate this story for a reason. These were the bleak years for the Taylors—monthly struggle to pay the mortgage, utilities, insurance, car payment on a junk heap, groceries, and so much more. New clothes and shoes were never going to happen. It was hand me downs from the beginning and braces for our teeth—oops, you must be kidding on that last one. As a matter of fact, we never even went to the dentist and our mouths looked like it. But no one complained.  What good would it do. 

As an old Boomer, my kids are grown, the mortgage is paid, and hopefully no more car payments, so we have an extra 50 cents in our pockets these days. I mention all this because sometimes we are at a loss as to what we can do to make this a better world, to help others, to reach out just a little bit. It certainly doesn’t have to be money. You can tell someone you admire what they’ve accomplished, that you applaud their integrity, or that you commend them for their work in helping others. Help a person out for no other reason than it’s the right thing to do. They’ll feel good and so will you.

I suppose we can look no further than the fires in California, flooding in Ashville, North Carolina, recent tornadoes in the Midwest, or countless other personal tragedies that have befallen our friends and neighbors to find examples of how we can help others but surely, we can also just look around our own community.  In Macomb we have a Toys for Tots drive over Christmas, food drives, clothing drives, and all such things. But I sort of emphasize the “personal one on one exchange” right there in our own communities. You never know when opportunities to help will just pop up but if you are alert, you can find them. 

For us, our latest opportunity dovetailed precisely after I reread that Campbell letter from so many years ago. It had to do with a man who had had some tough sledding after a serious motorcycle accident. Suffice it to say, his life will never be the same. Recently, we received an unexpected modest check in the mail. We weren’t counting on or expecting it so what to do with it. I suggested to Diane, we pass it along to this fellow in need, much like the Campbells had done for us so many years ago.  Diane concurred–why not, so we did it telling him that we were simply doing for him what another family had done for us. So, we put a check and a little note in the mail explaining our actions. A couple of weeks later we received a heart-felt thank-you note which made our day. 

It can really be anything. Our neighbors, Jim and Marilyn Olsen, shoveled our walk and driveway knowing I was unable to do so because of my recent left hip replacement.  How nice! These same people go on an annual church outing to build houses for the underprivileged. I look around and see so many people who reach out to others for no other reason than it is the right thing to do. I applaud you for the good deeds you do for others, not because you are asked to do so, but because in your heart, you know you can improve the lot of someone less fortunate.  

Of course, this expands much further than doing things for others. It is also simply recognizing the accomplishments of others or commenting on their good deeds. Being in the 4th Quarter gives us the ability to often just reach out and do things for others we probably wouldn’t have or couldn’t have when we were younger. We are the lucky ones–still here able to live the Golden Rule every day.