I am one of four brothers, and the only one who survives. David was born February 10, 1942, and died at age 71, Douglas arrived on February 9, 1951, and passed away at age 54. Gregory joined the family on February 11, 1957, and was gone at 59. Their early demise is a story for another day. I was sort of a middle child born February 20,1946 and just turned 80–Yipes! That makes me a “deep” member of the Baby Boom Generation firmly in the 4th quarter of life. As you can see, we were all born in February, so at some time in my parents’ marriage, Dad began to send Mom away during the month of May—do the math.
All four Taylor boys (that’s how people referred to us) are proud graduates of Hinsdale Township High School and Western Illinois University who each learned a good deal about life during their student tenures at both schools. At WIU, each of us was involved in our own way. David was married at 20 and the hardest working of the lot. He changed light bulbs in Sherman Hall for $1.50 and hour. I was a Resident Assistant in Seal Hall which was a terrific experience for me. Doug was the cultural maven one of the quartet and was President of the Bureau of Cultural Affairs and movie critic for the The Courier (school newspaper). Greg was a gifted diver on the Leathernecks swim team.
I shared a good bit of my early years with these guys. I wore Dave’s hand-me-downs (remember those days), babysat for Doug and Greg, and even changed Greg’s cloth diapers—no Pampers in those days. Fifteen years from youngest to oldest and it was David, who in the early years I became closest to, despite the inordinate amount of teasing he did to me, sometimes closer to torture. He was really tough on me. I was a reasonably good athlete, so I got to play sports with David and his buddies. When we played baseball in Stough Park, if I caught a fly ball to make him out, he would run out to left field and rough me up a bit. (Kind verbiage on my part.) Horror of horrors when he and Craig Standen would call up sixth grade girls in my class, say “Gordy Taylor loves you” and hang up. I was mortified. Then there was the time my parents made the mistake of buying him a BB gun for Christmas, then left town to visit friends. That fateful decision made me a moving target for Mr. Mean. Oh, the times we had. It’s amazing but can’t remember ever being an instigator or telling on him though no one believes that. The passage of time smooths out those rough edges of our youth.
When he went off to Western in 1960, Dave suddenly seemed to grow up—a real Franz Kafka Metamorphosis. It was utterly amazing. One day he was the big mean older brother but after a year of college, he suddenly became a man of wisdom and sage advice. Of course, it was he that had changed and not me. It was from 1960-1968 that my brother became an important and positive influence on my life. I imagine the same holds true for those of you with older siblings from the Quiet Generation, who, at some point, helped you on the road of life. I can think of five substantive life lessons that I learned from my older brother that shaped me and I am forever indebted to him for doing so.
- He taught me how to drive and stressed repeatedly that driving a car was a serious responsibility that required concentration and focus. His words, as I sat behind the wheel of the family’s 1955 Chevy Bel Air still echo in my ears. “Remember Gord, you’re in control of a 4,000-pound moving missile. Be careful.” I used those same words with our three kids decades later.
- We were out together one day when Dave looked at me and remarked, “As you get older, you are developing a reputation for yourself. It can be for good deeds or bad; that choice is up to you, but it will be your currency for the remainder of your life.” Obviously, he was spot on. Dave worked at Kramer’s IGA Grocery Store in Hinsdale and years later, I would follow in his footsteps because I was, as Manager Joel Nelson said, “Taylor’s little brother.” Dave’s reputation for reliability and hard work had been passed down to me. Your reputation is your currency was a profound and indelible lesson I never forgot.
3. Lesson #3 is what set my brother apart from those that never quite “get there” in life. David stressed the absolute necessity for dedication as it relates to success. As stated earlier, David was always a hard worker. He was the oldest and to get to college and beyond it would be necessary to outperform your peers. Dave caddied, mowed lawns, did yard work, stocked shelves, and one summer, even blacktopped driveways. He would come home a smelly, sticky, sweaty mess but he always went back to work the next day. When he got married, he got an evening and weekend job in a liquor store. He often told me that life isn’t fair, and you will have to work harder than the other guy if you want to get ahead. “Don’t expect to get all you want out of life without being willing to sacrifice and pay the price. No one owes you a living. You must earn it.” For me, this proved to be excellent advice and a reality check as I knew there would be no college in my future unless I paid for it.
4. This one has changed a bit as not everyone needs a college education. We need plumbers and electricians and lots of professionals not requiring a college degree. But it was 1968 and Dave said getting an education would be my ticket to success. His words still ring clear today. “Go to graduate school if you can. Apply to several universities and hope you get a good offer for financial assistance.” I ended up with a fellowship at the University of Florida and ultimately got my PhD and enjoyed a tremendously rewording career in higher education. Not for everyone but worked for me.
5. Finally, and it seemed so obvious at the time but David always said, “Be nice to Mom; she will always be there for you.” He was right, she was but sadly she passed away at age 47, long before I could ever repay her in even some small way for all she did for me growing up.
My brother gave me this advice over 60 years ago, and it has served me well. Good, bad, or indifferent, I am in large part the person I am today because of David’s wise and practical advice. For all of us, we are in part, the sum of what we have learned from parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, friends, classmates, teachers, and mentors who have been there along the way with a kind word or maybe a well-placed kick in the pants just when we needed it most. Whether it was drugs or alcohol, a solid work ethic, cultivating relationships, or a thousand other decisions, by the time we are adults, and surely as we live in the 4th Quarter of our lives, we are the sum total of the choices we have made with the resulting consequences–sometimes good and alas, sometimes not so good, but we are who we are.
Thanks brother David, your advice has served me well. Sadly, Dave succumbed to base of tongue cancer which is the same demon that afflicted me in 2010. He never got around to it, but if there was a number 6, I’ll bet he surely would concur with the best decision I ever made, marrying Diane Paulsen, the rock of our family.
Dave’s advice still follows me and my family as I can almost hear him say to my kids, “Be nice to your Mom” and indeed they are
Gordy and the Fourth Quarter 