Marching On

I needed a starting point, so I looked back at the last entry and found myself feeling acute ambivalence. You know, ambivalence. Old Dr. Blodgett, a renown economics professor at the University of Florida, explained it to me this way: “Gordon, ambivalence is seeing your mother-in-law drive off a very steep cliff in your new Cadillac.” Not exactly germane for me as I loved Diane’s Mom but you get the point-hate to lose the car but…I absolutely loathed the eleven day routine Diane and I endured to get rid of the pneumonia and six weeks of walking around with tubing to get me off oxygen, but we did it and as I type this, I am pretty much back to life without oxygen assistance. So that’s the good news i.e. Cadillac gone but….

As Paul Harvey was famous for saying, “And now the rest of the story” at least for now. Last year I was diagnosed with prostate cancer and my urologist and I decided to take a wait and see approach in terms of treatment as it was rather low grade. I was scheduled for another biopsy in September but that was delayed due to the whole “pneumonia thing.” I was rescheduled for November 2^nd and last week Diane retrieved the results and they were not good. I’m now having a PET Scan to be followed by appointments with my urologist and here’s the kicker, a radiation oncologist.  Those last two words are not at all what I wanted to hear but alas, I did. We shall proceed accordingly in the days ahead. If a person has good luck and bad luck health wise, like everyone else, I’d opt for the former but that doesn’t appear to be my situation these days. It’s like I’m on some kind of merry-go-round with good news (no longer on oxygen) replaced by bad news (the beginning of the prostate journey).  Will keep you posted until I’m absolutely frustrated or weary by all this.

While on this melancholy journey, will share a quick story. Another buddy has passed—W. Garry Johnson, who retired as Vice President of Student Affairs. We were the same age and contemporaries for decades at Western. There was a Celebration of Life for him recently and not only professional colleagues, friends, etc. were in attendance but a large throng of successful “kids” who he mentored over the decades. Every time I turned around, there was another friendly face who exclaimed that “they were who they were because of Garry.” Nice tribute. When we leave this earth for whatever follows, there is one certainty, best expressed by scholar J.R. Miller, “The only thing that walks back from the tomb with the mourners and refuses to be buried is the character of a man. What a man is survives him. It can never be buried.” God speed Garry.  That fits you to a tee.

I talk about this 4^th Quarter thing, and yesterday I read something that fits in perfectly. The woman was 83 and she was talking about getting older and reflected, “I guess I’m on the 16^th hole” and if that is true for her, at age 80, I am surely only on the 14^th or 15^th hole or in football terms, at the halfway point of the 4^th Quarter.   As I proceed on my journey through life and all its ups and downs, people who know me, kid and remind me, “Gordy, you always talk about the importance of having a positive mental attitude, now it’s your turn to live, firsthand, your own words.” That advice would seem apropos for all of us. People want to align with people they get along with, so these are viable words of wisdom for all of us. Some days it is easier to smile and laugh than others, but it would seem worthwhile to be one of those kind souls who lift us rather pull us down. 

There is a certain wisdom that comes to us as we age. We don’t have all the answers; however, we have some thoughts as to what has worked for us and allowed us to reach the milestone at which we find ourselves. Mother Teresa reflected on how we can all do our part when she said, “You can do what I cannot do. I can do what you cannot do. Together we can do great things.” This pretty much expresses the reality of life with Diane these days. She carries the health maintenance administration part of our lives, and I take the garbage to the curb on Monday mornings. Hope there is a little humor in there someplace. 

I’m learning and suggest you should too, to not stress over the little things. At our ages, we’ve accomplished much in our lives. We have good memories and bad ones too.  The important thing is to be present. We can’t do anything about the past, but we can learn to appreciate the present and hopefully the future. After all, there is no going back. Heck, after the 4^th Quarter, I’m already planning for a double overtime.  I’m literally “marching on.”